New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
