I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
