Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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