do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
