No stitches, just platelets and will power
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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