I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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