Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
