Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
