But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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