i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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