8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
