C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
