Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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