then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
