Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize