Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
