My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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