last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
