Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
