You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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