At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
