I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
