Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
