we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
