My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
