Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
