Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
