let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
