so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
