Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
