I love black thongs
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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