my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
