So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
