There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
