just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
