just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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