i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
