If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
