I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
