I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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