I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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