There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
