its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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