you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
