yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
