at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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