Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
