I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
