Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
