i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
